I believe that the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world.
I believe all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of kinship, love and tolerance.
I don't believe in distinction of any kind, such as
- race, colour, ethnicity, nationality
- sex, gender identity
- sexual orientation
- language, culture
- religion, spirituality
- political opinion
- any opinion
- origin (social, national or any other kind)
- age
- weight, size
- looks, beauty or lack of it
- disability or illness, visible or invisible, of mind or body
- property, wealth
- birth
- other status or identity

Monday, August 1, 2011

Slut Walk

"Society teaches "don't get raped" rather than "don't rape"... Hmm...

I don't support slut walk.

Firstly, I oppose the name. I am not a slut, I have never been a slut and will never be a slut, and I don't dress like a slut. Like the majority of world's women.

"A slut is someone who enjoys sex, not someone who it's okay to rape"
- Samadhi Arktoi

No, Samadhi. A slut is someone who offers sexual services for money. It's synonymous to whore, not to "someone who enjoys sex".
Of course it's not okay to rape sluts either, but no-one said it was. The "offensive" police officer was talking about rape as CRIME. You know, the word that means something is wrong, illegal, offensive... very much no-no, not okay. He was doing his best to see less crimes done, and he wasn't "blaming the victim". He gave a suggestion on what women could do as part of diminishing the risks of becoming a victim of a crime, and I agree with him.

Secondly, I don't think it's that black-and-white.
Most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows, like spouse, relative, "friend" or neighbor.
Most rapes are about power and control, and have nothing to do with what you are wearing. People wearing burka has been raped and sexually harassed and abused.
But that's just "most rapes". There are rape situations that could have been avoided, if the victim had been wearing something else and behaving differently. It happens.

Now - why is it such a big deal if people are asked to do small things like choosing a little more moderate clothes or being watchful in high risk situations, to avoid becoming a victim of a crime, when it comes to rape?
After all, people are asked to do things to avoid other crimes too, like having a fake handbag or wallet with things you can afford to lose in case of robbery, or to get proper locks and lock their doors and windows when they are not home, and not to advertise when they are on vacation, to avoid burglery.
Everyone knows burglery is wrong, and you should be able to leave your door unlocked and be able to return to a home that's in the shape it was when you left it, but I don't know anyone who doesn't think leaving the door unlocked was unwise and sort of inviting the burgler. No insurance company pays you any repairs if you "aided" the criminal by not locking your doors.
Also, I don't know anyone who doesn't blame herself, if her handbag gets snatched from their unguarded shopping cart. 
So - why not try to do things you can do to minimize the risk of getting raped, simply because in MOST rape cases it doesn't matter what you are wearing?

10% of reported rapes happen in parties or bars.
In most cases both the victim and perp had been drinking and everyone knows you are not behaving wisely when you are drunk. Mel Gibson shares his true feelings about Jews, women and everything else, people drive drunk and kill other people, people do stupid "jackass" and "dudeson" things, and people flirt with each other, misunderstand signals, miss signals and the night ends up with people getting hurt - and sometimes raped. 
In college the vast majority of rapes are "date rapes". 
The police officer who started all this was talking to college students.

This brings me to my third reason. The police officer was not asked what he meant with what he said, and of everything he said only one sentence is made known to the audience. This sentence is stripped from all context and interpreted.  He was told to apologize, not given a chance to explain. People has already condemned him as a "typical example of a chauvinist idiot police officer and the attitudes all women have to fight". I hate this kind of fascist, fundamentalist, extremist propaganda, making of examples of people who are not at all as "evil" as painted by the fundies, because it hurts people and in the end also the cause.

Of course women have the right to wear what ever they want - or nothing, if that's what they want - but it's not always right, wise or considerate to others.

There has been a lot of talk about people wearing burka, and some of these women marching for women's right to wear nothing if they like, oppose vehemently to women's right to wear a burka.
My SIL thinks immigrants and refugees shouldn't be wearing their ethnic clothes, but be dressed like every other Dane. She found also my husband's Viking inspired clothes offensive. He loves his sarks and wouldn't wear shorts.
Some people find Lady Gaga offensive or ridiculous.
Frankly, if a woman has the right to be dressed as a slut without any negative consequences, she should have the right to wear anything without any negative consequences... like getting mocked or shoved around or denied access to a prom or restaurant.
KKK members have the right to wear sheets with a cone on their head if they so wish. Not smart though, don't you agree? Would you blame the offender much for beating this person up?
Do you think the KKK guy has some part of the responsibility?
I do.

Then look at these women. Normal women having a fun night out.

But when I look at this picture, this is what I see:

I don't take these women seriously. They are doing a dang good impression of a "brainless bimbo".

I think these girls are more likely to say "yes" to sex - with anyone - than girls not showing their knickers and boobs to everyone who cares to look.
I don't think they are after anything but sex, either for free or for money. Why would you wear something like this otherwise? If these women are not after sex, I think they are guilty of false advertising and teasing, and that's just wrong.
What's the point of dressing like a slut?
I mean, if I was out there looking for a guy, I wouldn't want him to see me as just a sexual being.
I don't understand why anyone would want the whole world to see their private parts. I want to save those to my lover.

I have full understanding that a guy who is probably in the bar or party with the wish of sex - as a lot of guys are, especially in college age - thinks the same.

I don't believe these women have a very good self esteem. I don't believe they have a very good sense of humor, that they use their intelligence (at all), and I believe they are very susceptible, a flock of sheep, doing what everyone else is doing. These girls would "go wild" just because someone told them it's a "good idea", and probably will, because I don't believe any of these will be sober when the night is over, and I bet everyone has done something they would regret if they knew they did it, something they wouldn't have done sober, or in another situation.

I believe they all have been sexually assaulted at one point of their lives, and I would guess they were wearing something similar when it happened.
I also think their "offender" was more or less a stranger or a class mate, and the "offense" happened in a party, and was most likely dismissed as "false report".

Do I think it serves them right?
Of course not. But I think it's pretty predictable.

Now, I don't think these women are begging to be raped, or should get raped or even groped, pinched or insulted, but I do think they are making it easier for guys to take the step over the line. It takes a lot not to touch when someone pushes their tits or ass in your face, and if you are drunk and out to "get some", you might just go for it. Doesn't make it less rape, but I most certainly see "mitigating circumstances".

And this is what the police officer was talking about.

So, even though I support women's right to not get raped, 
and even though I think rape is a crime with too easy punishments 
and I agree the society and law enforcement doesn't take it seriously enough, 
I don't think "slut walk" is a good way of expressing this opinion. 
It's giving people right to call women sluts and changing the focus from important issues to petty matters.

I for one think rape should be seen as any other crime and the punishment should be adjusted to the damage done, but that demands the emotional damage is considered and the consequences of that is that bullying would be classified as crime as well... which I think is a good thing, but fundies don't, because it would remove a lot of their weapon arsenal.